Sick and Haircut

As I sit here and type I am literally coughing up my lungs.   It all started this past Friday and I thought I was getting the flu.  Well it wasn't the flu but the cold that I had turned into bronchitis.  So far I have had chills, body aches, stuffy nose, drainage, cough, and lost my voice for a day.  Right now I feel like I have worked out my abs for hours because I have coughed so much.  I finally went to the doc and I have bronchitis...duhh!  I knew that, I just wanted the meds to fix it.  Hopefully it will be gone is a few short days!  I had my tonsils out in 2004 and have not been sick since then.  But in the matter of two months I have had the stomach flu and now bronchitis!  I am so over being sick!

Baileys first haircut April 20, 2010

We took Bailey last week to get her hair trimmed.  I either put the front of her hair back in a clip or we put all of it up in a ponytail.  I didn't want to get bangs cut because I am just not a fan of them.  So we are letting the front grow out to be even with the back. 

 I really thought it was going to be a huge disaster.  I got my done first so she would see what it was like. 

As you can tell she was too interested in eating her cereal bar than fighting Danielle.

It also helped Danielle cut it in the seat Bailey was already sitting in.  So we didn't have to fight to get her sit in a real chair.

Honestly, you cant really tell she got it cut.  The main thing was to just straighten it up.  It definitely curls up better than before (except the front is straight as a board). 

Up and down......

I feel like all I get done blogging about is our journey to get pregnant.  But that seems to be the only thing on my mind recently.  It's been a roller coaster of emotions the past few days.  It started Monday when we went to see the Dr for a checkup for being on clomid for 3 months.  I saw my actual Dr. instead of the PA which always makes me feel better.  The appoinment went really well and I was very confident after talking to her.  She reccomended coming in Wednesday (today) for an ultrasound to measure my follicle size.  If everything looked good we were going to take an HCG trigger shot and then have an IUI done.  The trigger shot makes you ovulate 24-48 hours after taking it.  So, that meant that we were for sure going to ovulate and actually know a pretty good time frame.  I am really bad with trying to use the right medical terms for things so here is the definition of an IUI :
IUI stands for intrauterine insemination. Also known as artificial insemination (AI), IUI fertility treatment involves placing specially washed sperm directly into the woman’s uterus through a small tube. The procedure is low tech and completed in the doctor’s office by either a nurse or doctor.

So this was the plan:  Get the ultrasound, take the shot, go back for the procedure, and then hope it worked.  It wasn't a cheap plan either.  Our insurance doesn't cover any of the procedures so it was all "out of pocket" for a chance (not guaranteed to work) to get pregnant.  I had so many emotions in those two days of whether or not to actually do it, but deep down I really wanted to.

Fast forward to today.  We went in for an ultrasound hoping everything was alright.  Well the ultrasound tech measured everything and made us think that my follicles were fine.  We waited to talk to the doc and she was out so we saw the PA.   She told us that my follicles were just a little too big to do the IUI.  From what she explained is the follicles are what turn into the egg.  There is still a chance to get pregnant, but the chance to get pregnant is slim because the follicle is big.  Pretty much it wasn't worth putting the money into an IUI when there was a good chance it wasn't going to work.

She suggested coming back next month and having another ultrasound done to check my follicle size and then if its the right size we can do an IUI. We are still up in the air about where to go from here.  Just to have the ultrasound done today was approximately $200.  So there's another chance we could put $200 dollars into an ultrasound and be told its the wrong size.  If it is the right size we could have the IUI done and that will be approximately another $400 on top of everything else.  We really can't afford to put that kind of money out there for a "chance" at things that are not a for sure thing.  We are throwing all options around right now, even to stop trying and just have one baby.

Sorry if this is all over the place, it is just so hard to explain when I am still so confused on so many things myself.

Trying again.....

For those of you who would like to know the full story you can go here.

We were on our second month of taking clomid this past month.  I thought for sure this was the month.  I just had that feeling that everything was going to go as planned. I had passed the days I thought I was supposed to ovulate and Jason went out of town for a few days.  I woke up one night with the worst pain, to the point I couldn't go back to sleep.  I thought my ovaries were going to fall out of me.

Two weeks had passed and it was time to start.  I didn't.  For some reason I honestly wasn't even excited at the thought of being pregnant.  For some reason I got this huge feeling of guilt for having another baby and taking time away from Bailey.  I have wanted to be pregnant again for so long and thought I could possibly be pregnant and didn't even want to be anymore. 

We waited about 3 days and I still hadn't started.  Jason went and bought a pregnancy test.  I took it right away and it was negative.  Then I got another huge feeling of sadness for not being pregnant.  I swear I have the mood swings of pregnancy without being pregnant.  So once again I am dissappointed for not being pregnant.  After thinking back I guess I had just ovulated later than I had expected or was supposed to.  I have always ovulated right on time.

I am now taking clomid again for the 3rd month.  We have an appointment in about a week to discuss things with my doctor.  I desperately want to do something more than taking clomid to help, but insurance doesn't cover much and we can not afford to put the money into it right now and then pay for the doctor bills for being pregnant and having a second child.  The thing that scares me the most is I can only take clomid for 6 months.  I am not sure if there is another pill they can give me or we are just out of luck.  I hate researching it becauase I feel that its always going to happen this month. 

I will update you later when we go to the doctors appointment.  Once again for those of you I talk to in person I apologize for not telling you.  For some reason it is one of the hardest things for me to talk about it. It is easier for some reason for me to just type it and then not talk about it.  If you know me I want what I want when I want it.  This is one thing that is completely out of my control for the most part of when it is going to happen.

Try, try again, and again

I keep saying I am back to the blog world and then keep dissappointing myself in not following through.  I am going to go ahead and explain the reasoning.  I have not talked about this with really anyone at all, for several reasons.  So for family members if you are reading this and this comes to a little shock I apologize, but I have my reasons for not wanting to talk about it.  I know I never post without pictures, but considering the subject I decided to refrain.

Last January (2009) Jason and I had a discussion/arguement about having another baby.  At first he was ready and I wasn't then I was ready and he wasn't.  After talking about it for a few days we decided that we would start trying to make Bailey a Big Sister.  I thought it was the perfect time because the baby would be born in the fall and then it would be old enough for family vacation the following summer and we wouldn't have to sit a summer out. I know it was a big decision with Bailey being so young and just crawling at the time, but knew our little girl was growing up fast.  I had an appointment with my doctor and even discussed getting pregnant with her and if I was crazy to want to get pregnant with a baby that was about 7 months old.  She said go for it!! That month began our journey of working on a baby.

When we started trying for Bailey it only took us three months to get pregnant so I thought this time would be a breeze as well.  I have never taken birth control so it wasn't even an issue to have to go off of it.  I also have been really regular and knew when I ovulated every month.  I really thought to myself this is going to be a piece of cake.

Well, months went by, still I never got pregnant.  Don't get me wrong I know it doesn't always happen that soon, but in my mind I thought I would be pregnant in at least 6 months.  We started getting worried around that time so Jason made an appointment just to make sure everything was good on his end.  He was tested twice for sperm count and mobility and everything was fine.  (On a side note:  They told Jason he had borderline abnormally high sperm count.  I recommend that no doctor tell any man that.  Talk about something he was gloating about.)So in September I called my doctor to get everything checked out because we had been trying for 9 months.  All results came back that I was ovulating and said to keep trying, and that we did!

I ended up going back to the doctor in January for my yearly visit and discussed my problems again.  After a year of trying I guess you are considered having "fertility problems."  Everything looked normal and they scheduled me for an ultrasound around the time I was supposed to ovualate to actually see in my tubes were ripe and going to release an egg.  Sure enough I was about to release an egg and once again said to go home and try, try, try!!  No luck once again.

So last month they put me on Clomid; it is supposed to help ripen your eggs or help ovulate.  I don't really know the technical terms for it, I just know it's a hormone to help get me pregnant.  The first month we had no success.  We are now on the second month of Clomid and will see how things go from there.

This brings me to why I have not been blogging much.  It seems as if everytime I get on here and read friends blogs I regulary read, everyone is popping up pregnant.  Everytime I get on facebook I have another friend who is pregnant, or someone who knows someone who just had a baby.  Don't get me wrong I am happy for everyone who is having babies.  It just hurts when I have been trying for so long and not succeeding.  I guess jealousy is getting the best of me in that department.

I would like to aplogize again to close family that are just finding out through my blog.  It is something that I don't talk about, but to Jason.  It hurts to much to talk about the dissapointment.  I never wanted to tell people we were trying because I wanted it to be a surprise when it actually happened.  We get asked daily when we are having another one and it hurts to know that we are trying so hard, so I try and blow it off like "Oh I don't know."

For some reason I thought I might feel better getting it out in the open and writing about it (but if I talk to you in person please don't ask me about it because I only cry.)  I actually have only teared up once writing/typing this.  I guess I am braver behind a computer screen.  If you have had problems simliar to mine I would love to hear your outcome and the steps you took.

I am constantly thinking of the next step we might have to take and the money it could cost to have other treatments done in the near future.  I would pay anything to have another child if I had the money.  I just hope we don't have to resort to those measures.  So I am not asking for sympathy, just to please think of us and keep your fingers crossed that getting pregnant happens sometime very soon in the future.

WOW this was really hard to type and even harder to read it back.  Thanks in advance for listening!

19 months old

Its hard to believe Bailey is 19 months old.  We went to her well check up appointment a few weeks ago and she is only 22 pounds.  That puts her in the 10th percentile for weight, but she is 31 inches tall and that is 50th percentile.  So she is just a skinny minny!  She hated the doctor this time.  She cried the whole time and it started before we even got her weighed.

She really is growing up so fast and it breaks my heart.  It seems like in just the past few weeks she has changed so much.  She is so independant and wants to do everything herself now.  She still loves playing a little momma to all her babies.  She follows direction so well now, expect when we are telling her "NO."  We can tell her to put her toys away and she does or throw something away and she goes right to the trash can.  If only I could start giving her actual chores. I can actually give her a wash cloth and she will wipe things off, thats a start right??

She walked in the bathroom the other day and pointed to her diaper like she had to potty.  So I asked if she wanted to go potty on the toilet and she said yes.  So I took her diaper off and sat her on there.  She started making grunting sounds.  It was the funniest thing thing ever because its not like she sees me do that or anything.  She just came up with it on her own.  I have sat her on there many times before and she sits and sits and then is done with nothing in the potty.  Well she got up and I took her to put a diaper on, again with nothing in the toilet.  But once I got her to lay down I realized she had a little poop on her butt.  So I took her back to the toilet and told her to try again.  She started grunting again and actually pooped in the toilet. I couldn't believe it because we aren't even potty training yet.  She peed in their once again for Jason after she napped one day. 

Other things she is doing:
-She will sit and watch cartoons and dance to the songs on Nick Jr.
-She knows all of her body parts.
-Can take her own pants off.
-Her favorite song is "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus--We listen to it at least 10 times a day!!!
-Can say mommy, daddy, mamaw, papaw, nanny, Eash (Jasons sisters name Ana-Leisha), Itsty (Misty for my sister), Bebba (For Becca the little boy I babysits mom), Eye, Doggie, Kitty Kitty, ish (for fish), and can sign for more and says mo mo.

The doctor says she should be saying a lot more.  She actually just started saying this stuff within the past few weeks.  So we are having a speech therapist come out to our house to see if she has something wrong with her speech.  I have been freaking out for months because she didn't want to  say anything but "uhh uhhh uhhhh"  and point. I know there probably isn't anything wrong with her, but I would rather be safe than sorry and get help before its too late.  So to all you mommas out there:  When did your baby start talking?  Were they young? Did you ever have problems with them not talking until a later age?  I would love to hear your story!

Swine Flu Vaccine or not???

First I would like to thank all of my new followers.  I started blogging in April 2008 to keep family members and friends  in the know with my pregnancy and of course see all of the pictures of the baby once she was born.  I would only post every once in awhile when I had the time.  Recently I got into looking at other peoples blogs and found its really nice to see other moms going through the same thing or get creative ideas for around the house.  Thank you all for posting such great blogs for others to read!!

I was sitting here on facebook earlier and reading friends updates and it seems as if everyone other person has a sick kid.  It is actually starting to freak me out a little bit.  Bailey got her flu shot at her 15 month checkup, but obviously not the swine flu shot becauase they aren't in at our pediatricians office.  I keep calling and asking if they know anything about when they are coming in and they still don't after 2 months of waiting.  I really want to get the shot but I also hear so much controversy over it too.  That is also scaring me a little.  People keep saying that it came out so soon, they might not help anyways, and all other excuses.  I was wondering what all others are doing about the vaccine???  Are you going to get it for your kiddies or not?? 

Have a nice and relaxing weekend!  Can't wait to hear your opinions!!

We went for Baileys 2 months checkup and everything is going great!!! She now weighs 10lbs

1 oz and is 21 inches long. She got her shots today and it was horrible! I think it was worse for me than her. I cried before going to bed just thinking about it then I cried when I left the house and then of course when she was getting the shots. She screamed when the first one hit her and her face turned blood red, after the second shot she was crying so hard that she was silent! Oh yeah did I mention I was crying too! haha! She cried for like two or three mintues and then was fine. She took a bottle and then slept for about 3 hours. She is a little fussy now but hopefully everything will be fine tonight and tomorrow!! (the pics with the bandaids are where they gave her shots)

We went for the one month check up on Friday. She now weighs 8 lbs 3 ozs and is 20 inches long. She had her second hepititis b shot and now she is not feeling well. She has been fussy all day so hopefully she will sleep it off tonight.

Its been awhile

Sorry it has been awhile since I have updated this as you can guess things are hectic around here. Bailey Shae is doing great!! we had our two week check up and she is healthy as can be. She now weighs 6 lbs 10 ozs!! She still has her days and nights mixed up so I am up with her a lot at night and nap during the day. That is why I dont get on the computer too much. I am going to try and do better at this now that we are trying to get in the swing of things! Here are some pictures of her which are the post important part of this blog anyways! (this is also her first bath pics)